Friends-
Ok so this whole Real President thing isn’t working out. I mean seriously there isn’t enough paper to write all the fucked up things Trump has done. We got to get that fucker out of the White House and away from the launch codes.
So here is what we offer him: a free pass. Donald if you resign now and give us back the launch codes, you and all your friends won’t go to prison. What’s more, we know you like to play the part of the President. So we will build you an exact replica of the White House on a set in NYC. You can go home to Trump Towers (sorry Melania) and each day come to the set and play the part of the President. You can sign all the Executive Orders you want and have As many Russians guests as you like. You can even keep your staff as costars and berate and contradict them as you please.
The best part about this Donald is that your supporters won’t know you are no longer in DC and you are just pretending to be President. You have been pretending so far so it will pretty much be the same. Plus, as you said they are pretty dumb and won’t notice the switcheroo. Finally, you can keep making false promises, you can keep lying your ass off, you can keep insulting and threatening whoever you like, you can keep making your campaign trips and you can keep bashing the press. That’s all part of your character thst we have all come to know. You can just kick back and Be Donald without worry about any laws or rules. As fake President, you can grab the whole world by the Pussy, and nobody can say shit.
So think it over. If you’re willing to resign in exchange for a show where you play the President, we can make it happen. It will be your first really big win and you can tweet all about it.
Robb Fickman, Houston